how to stop negative self talk

11 Simple Steps to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Have you ever questioned your capabilities to an extent that you start doubting yourself? It starts with a simple thought of “I can’t do it” and escalates to “I am useless”. If you have ever experienced such a session with yourself, that’s negative self-talk. 

Like it or not, everyone has a habit of self-talking. It can be positive or negative. Sometimes you might have thought, “I can’t do it. I can’t finish it in time. I don’t have the skills to do it. I will fail surely.” You might underestimate yourself. Such thinking is an example of negative self-talk. Underestimating your skills and abilities and trash-talking about yourself is negative self-talking.

Negative self-talk is not a good sign. It leads to stress, depression, and affects your relationships. Moreover, it turns your life upside-down sometimes. No matter what you do, your inner voice will always tell you that you are worthless and you will be unsuccessful. As a result, you will be more demotivated to do anything. You will only hesitate to start anything.

So, how to stop negative self-talk?

How to stop negative self-talk in 11 simple steps?


The first thing to do is to acknowledge the problem. Acknowledge your inner critic so you can find solutions to stop doing it. Never ignore it. The more you neglect it, the more you will fall into the trap making it harder for you to come out of it. 

It is not your fault. Moreover, it is our nature that we neglect problems and don’t acknowledge we are at fault. Speaking frankly, it’s not so easy to admit it. Leaving your ego behind, you need to recognize your negative inner voice to find solutions to stop it. 

Find the issue

Even though you acknowledge your problem, sometimes, it is still challenging to find the root cause. Nevertheless, you need to find the main cause of negative self-talk. To find the problems, ask yourself these questions and answer honestly:

  • When does your inner critic start?
  • Are you depressed?
  • What are you afraid of?
  • What triggers your negative self-talk?
  • Do you doubt your skills and abilities?

Take your time and find the triggers. Note everything down, including triggers and time. If possible, make a journal and write everything down.

On the other hand, depression and stress also lead to negative self-talk. In such cases, counterattack your depression to stop negative self-talk. Find the root cause and give your best to silence your inner critic.

Be optimistic

Be optimistic and replace your negative inner voice with positivity. If something goes wrong, don’t think about it too much. Instead, think about your past accomplishments. Overthinking and disappointment are only going to make you frail and lose confidence. 

Change your mindset by remembering your past achievements and success. Look at everything in a positive way. Focus on good things. It might take some time to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. But, continue doing it. You will feel great doing this. You will start to view your life positively. 

Thought stopping

Another effective way is the thought-stopping technique. It is a technique used by and recommended by therapists to replace negative thoughts. This technique emphasizes on finding a way to stop your negative self-talk. 

For example, snapping your fingers or pinching your hand gently and saying “Stop” either aloud or in your head. You can even take a deep breath and relax your mind. You can do anything to stop your negative inner voice. Just don’t hurt yourself in the process of doing so. 

So, find yourself a means to either distract or stop your thoughts from affecting you whenever you think negatively.

Give your negative thoughts a name.

Have you ever thought of giving your negative thoughts a name? If not, try giving it a name. Sounds silly and weird, right? It is a straightforward yet effective method to stop your negative self-talk. 

If possible, give it a funny nickname. So, whenever negative thoughts emerge, smile or laugh out loud. It will help you remain calm and relax. Moreover, perceive it as a friend or family giving you suggestions. Then filter them and decide which thoughts are good or evil and which thoughts to let go or hold on to. The main gist of doing this is to separate yourself from negative thoughts.

Now, you don’t have to take it seriously. You don’t have to agree with what your inner thoughts say. Just filter out as you do when your friends and family suggest you. 

Accompany people who believe in you

Surround yourself with positivity to stop negative self-talk from emerging. Most of the time, negative thoughts arise in a tense environment and from bad influence. Sometimes, situations get too harsh for you to handle, and you become demotivated. So, the best solution is to be with people who always support you and encourage you. 

If you are having a rough day, go out with your friends and family, and have fun. Or share your problem. They will surely help you tackle issues if it is in their hands or motivate and cheer you. If you are with happy and confident people, it will influence you to be cheerful and confident. As a result, you will forget everything, and negative self-talk will stop. 

It’s ok to fail sometimes.

Stop trying to make and do everything perfect. Imperfection is a way of life; no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws in them. What matters most is your hard work, dedication, skills, and loyalty. So, it is ok if you fail sometimes. 

If you expect perfection every time you start something, then failure will hurt you badly. As a result, you will be depressed, and your inner critic will arise. You will begin to doubt yourself, your abilities, and your skills. 

So, keep doing what you are doing. This way, you will be more happy and prosperous. However, remember to improve your skills and expand your knowledge in the process. Stop expecting perfection, keep improving, and make failure a stepping stone for your successful journey ahead. 

Build a positive self-talk habit

Try to build a positive self-talk habit. Rather than dwelling on the past, look for the future. Will negative self-talk help you in the future? Is it more important than your career? The more you focus on a negative thought, the more you will ruin your life. If something bad has happened to you, see it as a new opportunity.

If you accomplish something, appraise yourself. Always think positive. Always say it loud or think, “I can do it. I will make it successful.” Thinking negative brings negativity, while positive thinking brings positivity, making your life much better. 

So what do you want: damage your life or make it better and successful? 

Share with someone

The more you contain your negativity, the more it will affect you. Respond to it or use the thought-stopping technique. Or you can share with someone if you are having trouble. Sharing your problems with someone will relieve tension and pressure from you. 

Negative self-talk causes stress, depression, and feelings of demotivation and helplessness. However, sharing helps to reduce your problems, if not wholly. 

Moreover, you can also join communities and groups who are going through the same problem. The more you engage in such groups, the more you will find solutions to stop negative self-talk. At the same time, you can also help someone in the future who is going through the same problem.

Do yoga and meditation.

Negative self-talk arises when you are unaware of your surroundings, situations, and abilities. You get distracted whenever you are in a position and start underestimating your skills. As a result, you are unable to control yourself and start murmuring with yourself. You will ultimately lose your focus and affect your brain. 

However, doing yoga and meditation helps to relax your mind. You will realize what is right and what is wrong. As a result, it will help you build positive thinking habits. 

Consult experts

Taking help from the experts is the best choice if you cannot control your negative self-talk even after trying everything from your side. Getting the best support matters a lot. They are experienced in dealing with such problems, so they will surely help you. 

It might take time to heal, but it will help you. However, it depends on you and your problems. It depends on your immunity power. Immunity power in the sense of how much you are ready to fight your problems. So, build up your mental strength and self-confidence to cope up with negative self-talk.

In Conclusion

Sometimes, we all go through such a phase. It affects our daily life. However, having a positive mindset is very important. So, change your perspective. Never feel down when something wrong happens. Encourage yourself to keep going. And if you ever get yourself stunned by the negative self-talk, try the above techniques. These techniques will help you eliminate negative self-talk and promote confidence and healthy and prosperous life.  

Image Credits: Johnhain from Pixabay

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